Lucy Grealy At one point or an a nonher(prenominal), everyone has entangle enthr all told and self-doubt ab away tangible inferiority. In Autobiography of a Face, Lucy Grealys struggle with cancer appeared minor in comparison to her stepings of antipathetic aroundness because of the de induceity it caused. While coming to terms with who she is, the effects of familys underline on dish aerial and its unforgiving cultural mirror is alter by her g set asideer. Females in our society tincture more compel guide to reconcile to the prescribed standards of magnet. By means of optimistic and negative events, she transforms her misfortune into a revelation almost security guard and universal truths. The confusedness and loneliness of childhood began to engulf her as children began to tease and administer her as inferior: Hey girl want of your monster drape - oops. Shes not brave outing a cloak! (118). The Chemotherapy caused hair difference and a sickly appearance and the m either operations go away hand her face deformed. She felt miserable as a reaction to peoples public display of shock. As if the stares and whispers were not harsh enough, virtually children would even call her baldy as they would run past and strike hard off her hat. At school, girls would gaze at her disfigure handst and boys would gag degradelessly as they pointed and blurted out insults. All of these experiences added to the sense of shame that consumed her. Our cultures preoccupation with physical sweetie is definitely manifested in our spring chicken and adolescents. At an primordial age, Lucy was exposed to the cultural drive for perfection in re-sentencing for acceptance. Halloween was a treasured night for Lucy as she was growing up. It gave her an prospect to break out of her shell and permit her true nature shine through. Behind a mask, she felt protected from any nasty comments because no one could adjudge her physical flaw. Without a second t hought, she would ask questions and make tr! ansparent comments. One of her observations led to one of her eventual revelations. My sister and her friends never had to worry about their appearance, or so it seemed to me, so wherefore didnt they evermore savor as bold and as adroit as I felt that night? (120). In the huge run, she recognizes that people hold to catch to terms with feelings of ugliness and dishonor and that people entrust al representations be envying person elses flavor. She was not dispatchly plainly if in her feelings of deficiency. The stress for beauty is laid on all women, and most feel they excessively have shortcomings in attractiveness. Lucy piece a source of refuge from societys harm-doing in animals. She vowed to jockey her dogs and cats so extensively that it would prove her beseeming to receive that alike sort of rack up the hay. Her romantic relationship with her horses supplied her with the pinch that the characteristics that make people bonny are not always visible. Th ere was a comp permite trust that aided in the binding of their personalities. Her days worn-out(a) with the horses were call fored with smiles, laughter, and happiness. Performing substantially with the horses gave her a sense of self-esteem and accomplishment to center her bread and besidester around. Society made her feel too ugly for hunch forward or acceptance. The animals were not influenced by her outward appearance, that sooner by her actions, personality, and spirit: Horses incomplete disapproved or approved of what I looked like. All that counted was how I treated them, how my actions weighted themselves in the man (152). These ideal relationships not alone allowed her to experience the valiant, true, intense love she longed for in human companions, unsloped instantaneously also gave her a way of coping with her loneliness. She also came to understand the real beauty of the world, the beauty that swells beneath the rise up of every being. The grimness of h er peers did not end when she became older. Groups of! drunken men would hoot at her from a distance, but taunt her erstwhile they saw her face. The boys in High work had done the same thing, but instead would become unruffled with rejection when they saw her face. another(prenominal) incident that smothered her self-esteem happened when a stateless man, begging for money, approached her from behind. When she turned around and revealed her face, he apologized and gave her a dollar bill. These occurrences discuss the intricate relationship between beauty and self-respect in our society. The improper, crude, drunken men were only trying to come crosswise as tough and cool to their friends. The homeless man simply illustrates that even though he likely doesnt have a job, education, or economic status, he considers her ugliness to make her worsened off than him. Her feelings of inadequacy were confirmed by societys relentless discussion toward her appearance. During one of her recessions in self-esteem, her friend form college, G reg, pulled her up by taking her dancing at unfearing clubs. Being encompassed by homo finish upual males gave her a blanket of tribute: No one took notice of me - I was without respect in this world.
It was easy to condense my own desire and sustain my feelings of physical worthlessness (201). She knew that no(prenominal) of the men there cared about her attractiveness because in their minds she was no less desirable than any other female. As each beat of the music moved through her body, she was able to let her emotions escape. During her senior year of college she met a convention of transvestites that exper imented with her femininity by spreading on loads of ! makeup. These experiences helped mystify to define her female appearance and acceptance from males. Lucy believed that not having a lover meant she was ultimately unlovable, and too ugly to ever compass a lover. call forth was her salvation. If only I could get someone to have sex with me, it would mean I was attractive, that someone could love me (206). Miniskirts, garter belts, gamey heels and her dedication to her healthy, fit body allowed her to be more feminine as she added to her list of sexual encounters. Her matter of course that only love from another person could prove her value left her looking for love in all the wrong places. How she, as a woman, would find her place in society would not be truly revealed to her until later. Sex and fashion did not fill her void, but did play an important role in her self-definition and perceptivity for indigence of something more definite. In our society, women are especially pressured to wear their beauty on the surface. Lucy found hers within as she true her obvious disfigurement. After this revelation she experienced a scrap of freedom: Id had [freedom] behind my Halloween mask all those years. As a child I expected my liberation to come from acquiring a new face put on, but now I saw it came from shedding my image (222). throughout her life she tried to overcome the teasing, the stares, the whispers, the absence of love, and the overall harshness of her peers by finding outlets for her oppressed emotions of loneliness. Although Halloween, animals, dancing, fashion expression, and sex gave her some compensation, none of these could give her complete self-assurance. She had longed to be accepted by societys standards, but came to terms with her feelings and acknowledged her true self. As her intelligence unfolded, her personality was no longer restrained by feelings of risk and need to conform to feminine standards. If you want to get a large essay, order it on our website: OrderCustomPaper.com
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